One Year Ago…

Oliver’s Mom writes:

A year ago today was the worst day of my life. Oliver and I were simply going to an initial genetics appointment for what I thought was ‘ruling things out.’ I had no fear, no concerns going to this appointment. I answered endless questions about his history — when he started sitting up, walking, talking… his difficulties sleeping, his constant congestion, and eventually some of the regression we had seen. The doctor asked me to pull up photos of Oliver at different ages. I was happy to flash photos of his ear to ear grin at different ages. The doctor left the room and came back several times. Finally, he came back with a packet for me to take home and read. As I held it and listened, I heard “Sanfilippo” for the first time. I didn’t grasp what the missing enzyme… the accumulation of GAGs… the neurons dying…meant… I didn’t understand the magnitude, but I could tell by how slowly he spoke and his kindness in delivery that it was bad. I couldn’t form the words to ask, “Is this life-shortening?” When he left the room briefly again, I flipped through the packet, desperately searching for “Lifespan”. There it was…

“most children die in their late teens.”

I heaved big sobs and clung to my sweet boy. When the doctor came back in, Oliver held my crying face in his hands and looked at the doctor and said, “My mom needs a nap.” He said it over and over, showing love for others as he always, always has.

The doctor wanted to give Brian a chance to talk to him, so we set to meet again the next day. I waited in the lobby with Oliver for a blood draw that would eventually confirm that he had Sanfilippo Syndrome Type B. I texted Brian that we had an appointment the next day. When he texted me back, “Sure. How’s Oliver?” I couldn’t respond.

Oliver and I went home. It was a beautiful fall day and Oliver and our dog, Faelan, played in the backyard while I called Brian.

“Come home.”

“Is it bad?”

“Yes.”

I waited for Brian, as I watched my beautiful boy, so happy, so happy, so full of life, running, laughing, throwing the tennis ball around.

I don’t remember much more about that day, except holding Oliver and crying. Reading the packet through tears, everything matching up — even physically — the coarse hair, the thick eyebrows. I googled Sanfilippo and my screen filled with photos of children who looked just like my son. His Sanfilippo brothers and sisters who would journey together — through losing their ability to speak, losing their ability to walk, suffer pain and seizures until they join the Sanfilippo angels that have gone before them, gone too soon.

But here he is today, looking for his friends — enjoying today for what it is — a gift.

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